= released =

I have been considering my outlook on life for….oh, say….the last half of a year or so, and I have come to see that I just might be a pessimist. Depressive even ;-) Well, that is simply not great. <-- Look, there I go again, thinking on the gloomy side of a pessimistic life. It really goes deep, you know? Well, here is my first official outlook from the forced view of an optimist. There are good ideas or thoughts to be gleaned from a pessimistic life. Spiritually, I have come to a better understanding of how much I do not deserve to be loved by a perfect and powerful Creator. Through this truth, hopefully I have gleaned some sort, or bit of humility (optimistic thought). It occurs to me that a time spent in gloomy and brooding mindsets has afforded me a fuller image of how this place works, and of how grateful I must always be in my understanding and realization of His power, grace, and mercy. That is wonderful (optimistic thought). I have begun to believe in a connection between humility and adoration. How can I come to Him in my fullest adoration if I do not realize just how far He has raised me out of the muck, mire and drudgery of worldly existence? By fullest adoration, I mean as much appreciation, thanks, praise, and for lack of a better term, adoration as I can muster given what He has revealed to my pitiful eyes. I do not expect to ever worship Him here in a manner worthy of Him. It is only with the help of Christ that my praise and cries reach His ears (optimistic thought). I am rambling now – Back to the optimistic life for me. I am sure you are all dying to hear of it. This is what I begin to see now. Pessimism is a defense mechanism. Expect the worse and the only surprise is a pleasant one. Unfortunately for me, this mindset has led to many sad and overly dramatic times. I do not think we are meant to be happy at all times. Do not misunderstand me. I am not attempting to re-align my views in order to be a happy guy. Far from it. I really think that I can be no happier or joyous than the lowest I have ever been. The deeper the chasm, the higher the summit and all that jazz. I am simply going to allow my Lord to show me the wonder of each situation rather than the brokenness for a time (optimistic thought). Until such time as He sees fit to show me something else anyway. So, I trust in Him and look through the eyes of a new creation. just a thought.