= released =

sit still and think. find a place and wonder until wonder runs out. endless questions and digressions. half-formed conversations of the mind and too much time. impending. that is the word. all i can hope is that this coccoon of idleness is easier to emerge from than i fear. but it must be done. the wait has been long. feet digging furrows in the dirt as the body is dragged along. eyebrows upraised and perspiration from the procrastinator's fight dripping in the dirt. the womb is too warm and comforting. there is not need for smell. for sound or sight. for breath. everything is provided. the walls are lined with all sorts of taps. currents and current trends beckon to be seen and swallowed. consumption. in times gone by, consumption was a disease that would almost assuredly kill its victim. strange how the word is applied today to a different kind of death. imagination. dreams. hopes. inclination. inward interrogation. passion. all these flames gutter and die when consumption grasps hold. testament to this is all too easily found in those crowding around flickering light presented with clips and phrases. buzzing like so many bees inside your head that all thought ceases and pupils contract. shutting out as much of it as they can while remaining obedient to their director. my veins are sludge writhing with all the insipid ramblings of everything that does not matter. too much. the point of conclusion has to appear on the horizon soon. else, all is made too much of that which is fleeting and belligerently vacuous. look it up. it will do you good to piece the meaning together and to see their new meaning when placed next to each other. this is all ironic of course. if the medium is the message, then we are all lost. i almost failed that class because that is the mantra that dribbled from the man's lips at the podium. and 8 years later, i can't get past it. it is so wrong even if i can't explain why. perhaps i didn't understand. that is all too likely. he was trying to teach us how to manipulate each other...the masses converging along but connected by wires and transmissions. of course, we rely on the transmissions to tell us what to talk about. how to connect. give us a common ground from which to start from. how else is connection possible. soon we'll be able to set up emotional firewalls and keep histories we don't want to share locked up in files that aren't checked in the box marked "shared." we'll place our friends in networks and keep work associates under workgroups and be able to empty the bin of all unwanted thoughts and emotions with a mental double-click. after all, we are the administrators of our lives and only we have the password to all the files. strange to think that one of the most common passwords in the world has been "god." strange that that is how we have come to think of ourselves. sorting and compartmentalizing things in the most efficient way we can think of. of course, it'll be easier to just download an organizing program from someone else and then we'll all be on the same page again. mystery is confusing and takes too much thought. we should all be able to understand each others filing systems and navigate them with the greatest of familiarity and comfort. the new classes will be seperated by what release we choose to utilize. tongues will become slow as they are used less and less. impulses from the brain will communicate our needs and desires to those around us. maybe that is how telepathy comes about. inner computers working off of imbedded wireless routers sending and receiving messages as we sit around and blink lazily. who knows....