= released =

you know, God is really cool. sometimes He lets you hear yourself when your still defining your life in the past and you just have to laugh at the things coming out of your own mouth...it's just ridiculous, you would have already quit listening if were somebody else - that's why it is so good - you talk long enough to embarass yourself, but hear yourself before you finish so that you can learn the lesson.

i do it too often. sometimes it makes me want to join a monastery just for the chance of taking a vow of silence. i mean, really, half of the stuff coming out of my mouth is ridiculous, non-edifying, garbage...that might sound harsh, but my heart is revealed to me in what i do and don't say to the people around me...i'm way too self-indulgent...this post even qualifies.

so, to some of you, that may explain the sporadic nature of my posts, the need to curb the self-indulgence vs. the need to for vulnerability...and to some, well, i doubt "that" some cares, "they" being the few who somehow stumble here because of some google search. but to the "they" who know me - i'm trying to figure out some non-self-indulgent way of being responsibly vulnerable without being ego-centric...hopefully you'll stick with me...sheesh - what a load...

good night and good luck

cheers to the journey and one day figuring it out....thank God he has...